For parents
These lessons work best as small, ordinary conversations that come back every year, not one big talk. Each one is ready to run at home: a short talk, "what would you do?" questions, and something to try together.
Ages 3 to 5
My body belongs to mePreschoolers can learn the real names for every body part, that private parts are private, and that there are no secrets about bodies, while surprises are fine. Children who know they can tell any of several trusted grown-ups, and who know they'll never be in trouble for it, are better placed to speak up. Keeping them safe stays the adults' job.11 sourcesDraft · DraftingAsk first, stop means stopPreschoolers learn that everyone is in charge of their own body. That means asking before a hug or rough play, stopping the moment a friend says stop, and noticing how the other person feels. They learn it fastest when the grown-ups around them do the same.10 sourcesDraft · DraftingTell a grown-up when someone's hurtPreschoolers are starting to notice and care when someone is hurt or sad. This lesson helps them turn that care into one simple action: if someone is hurt or about to be hurt, go and tell a grown-up. That's telling, not tattling.11 sourcesDraft · Drafting
Ages 6 to 9
The uh-oh feelingTeach your child to trust the feeling that something is wrong and to judge people by what they ask them to do, not by whether they know them. NCMEC's four rules (Check First, Take a Friend, Tell People No, Tell a Trusted Adult) and a firm "no secrets about bodies" rule give them clear steps to follow.11 sourcesDraft · DraftingTeasing or hurting?Teasing is OK when it's playful and both kids find it funny; when it becomes hurtful, keeps going, or one side has more power, it has crossed into bullying and needs to stop. Teach your child to hear another child's "stop," to imagine how the other child feels, and to make it right with a real apology.11 sourcesDraft · DraftingTelling isn't tattlingTattling is reporting a small problem that's safe and that a child can handle themselves; telling is letting an adult know when someone is hurt, about to be hurt, or needs help. Children can also step in by saying "stop," helping the targeted child walk away, and being a friend to them afterwards.10 sourcesDraft · Drafting
Ages 10 to 13
When an online friend wants a secretPeople who target children online often start with compliments, attention or gifts, then ask to move to a private app, keep secrets or send photos. If a child is being threatened over an image, it is a crime and never the child's fault: don't pay, keep the evidence, don't forward anything, and get help from a trusted adult, Take It Down and the CyberTipline.13 sourcesDraft · DraftingDon't forward it, don't pile onAt this age, children have real power to hurt or protect each other online. Teach them that online behavior should match in-person behavior: never forward sexual images of anyone, never pressure anyone, and pay attention to other people's comfort.12 sourcesDraft · DraftingLeave the pile-on, check on the targetWhen cruelty spreads online, children who are watching have real choices: don't join in or share, step away, keep evidence, block and report, quietly support the person being targeted, and tell a trusted adult. Getting help for someone else is not tattling.10 sourcesDraft · Drafting
Ages 14 to 18
Make the X-plan together, and keep your side of itAn X-plan or code word lets your teen signal that they need to be picked up without losing face in front of friends. This guide helps you set one up together, and explains why your promise not to criticize or punish them for using it is what makes it work.4 sourcesDraft · DraftingRaising someone who asks firstA guide to help parents talk with a teen of any gender about consent, pressure and boundaries. It covers why only a clear yes counts, why it's your teen's job to check for one, and why nobody owes anyone anything for a gift, a date or saying "I love you."4 sourcesDraft · DraftingRaising an upstanderHow to help your teen get ready to step in safely when they see something wrong, at a party, at school or online. Covers why it matters, five simple ways to help, how to practice at home, and how to back them up when they act.6 sourcesDraft · Drafting
18 and over
Is your child's school teaching this?Ask your school
Last updated [not yet reviewed]Reviewed by Stacy WillisSummarized from public sources with the help of AI, reviewed by Stacy Willis.How this site is made