Every story here can be someone else's near miss.

Lessons on staying safe, not causing harm, and stepping in to help, for every age.

Free guides for parents, teens, adults and schools, built from reputable sources, with real stories from people who've been there. From age 3 to adulthood.

Find lessons by age Read real stories

What this site teaches

Harmful situations often involve three roles: the person at risk, the person who could cause the harm, and the people who see it happening. We teach all three roles. Pick an example to see how they fit.

The person it's happening toSomeone too drunk to stand is being steered toward a bedroom.Protect yourselfHow to notice warning signs and get out of situations that feel wrong.The person who could cause harmThe person steering them.Check yourselfHow to make sure you never cause harm, even without meaning to.The people watchingThe friends who see it.Step inHow to help safely when you see something wrong happening.

This isn't a legal guide, and we're not here to judge anyone's case. Real situations have nuance. What we want is fewer people hurt, from every side of a moment, and more people who know how to look out for each other. That happens before anything goes wrong: asking, noticing and stepping in.

Not sure what to call something that happened to you? You don't need a label to deserve support. Find support

Teach these concepts at different ages

Choose who you're teaching. For children under 14, the lessons are written for parents to share at home: a short talk, questions to ask, and an activity. From 14, guides are written to teens and adults directly, with conversation guides for the parents and teachers around them.

Learn from real stories

Real story. No AI was used to write it.For teens and adultsStacy's near miss: the job interviewThis is the *first time* I've ever told this story. I don't think I've ever once even mentioned to another human being that this happened to me. I think it was because I was embarrassed that my own naiveté led me into it.Trusting your gutWarning signs

Why it's called The Near Miss Project

A near miss is something that almost went wrong. In the stories here, someone noticed a warning sign, acted, or was helped in time, and in some, they weren't. Sharing what happened, and what made the difference, helps the next person see it coming. That's the idea behind the name: every story here can be someone else's near miss.

Why it matters

National surveys count the harm that happened. They don't count the times it almost did, or what stopped it.

45.1%

of US women have experienced contact sexual violence in their lifetime. So have 16.9% of men.

CDC NISVS 2023/2024. Includes rape, attempted rape, sexual coercion, and unwanted sexual contact. For men, it also includes being made to penetrate someone.More in Stats

23%

of sexual assaults in one study of young women had a moment beforehand when a bystander could have stepped in.

Haikalis et al., Violence Against Women, 2018. 427 women aged 18–25, recruited online. Alcohol was common in these settings, for everyone involved.More in Stats

How one lesson builds from age 3 to adulthood

Each lesson comes back every few years with more depth, so it becomes instinct rather than a single talk. Here's how respecting other people's boundaries develops by age.

Why it starts at three

49%

of women who have experienced rape or attempted rape were first victimized before age 18.

CDC NISVS 2016/2017. The newest survey hasn't published age data yet. CDC changed how the 2023/2024 survey was done, so its numbers can't be compared directly with earlier years.More in Stats

Where the information comes from

Stories from real peopleEvery story is told by someone who lived it, or was published by them elsewhere and is credited. No AI writes, edits or summarizes a story.

Guidance from reputable sourcesLessons and guides are based on pediatric, public-health, child-safety and research organizations, such as the American Academy of Pediatrics and the CDC. Every claim is numbered to its source.

Reviewed before it's publishedAI helps find sources and drafts the guides from them. Stacy Willis checks every claim against its source, and edits and approves every page before it goes live.

Every statistic on this site, with its source and when it was last checked, is on Stats. An AI-assisted check compares them against their sources every month, and every change is approved by Stacy Willis.

How this site is made

Why Stacy Willis started this site · draft

“I started this after a life lessons talk with my own kids. I was raised to stand up for myself, I wasn't a big partier, and I still had two near misses in my early twenties. For a lot of people, it isn't a near miss. I want more people to see it coming, and more people to step in when they do.”

Stacy Willis · Read why this exists

Resources for parentsEvery life lesson by age, from age 3 through the talk before college.Resources for schoolsWhy to teach these lessons, tools by grade, and how parents can ask their school.

Last updated [not yet reviewed]Reviewed by Stacy WillisGuides are summarized from public sources with the help of AI. Stories are real and no AI was used to write them.How this site is made