The 5 Ds on the subway, the street, at the bar

Someone is being crowded on a train, followed down the street or cornered at a bar, and you're not sure what to do. You don't have to confront anyone to help. This guide covers five ways to step in, with examples for the places you're most likely to need them. The 5 Ds come from the nonprofit Right To Be (formerly Hollaback!). Starting in 2012, it worked with the bystander program Green Dot, which created the original 3 Ds (distract, delegate and direct), and later added delay and document [4].

What to know before you step in

• Your safety comes first. Only act if it feels safe to do so [1]. Confronting the person causing harm isn't always safe or effective [2].
• Most options are low-key. Four of the 5 Ds are indirect and designed not to escalate things [1].
• Don't assume someone else has done something [1].
• Harm comes in many forms. Catcalling, sexual comments and crude gestures may not be illegal in many places, but they're still threatening and harmful [2]. They often happen in public spaces [2].
• Who you are can make speaking up safer. Your age, race or gender may make it easier for you to speak up, especially when you aren't the one being targeted [2].

The 5 Ds, with examples

Distract. Ignore the person causing harm and pull the targeted person into something unrelated [1].

• On the street: ask the person being harassed for directions or the time, or act like you know them and start chatting [1].
• On a train or bus: ask the person a loud, everyday question to change the subject [1], or greet them like an old friend [1].
• At a bar or club: knock over a drink, make some noise, offer the group drinks or food, or start a dance [1].

Delegate. Bring in someone better placed to help [1].

• Ask the people around you to step in with you [1, 2]. The more people who interrupt, the clearer it is that the behavior isn't acceptable [2].
• At a bar, tell the bartender or a bouncer, or find the targeted person's friends [1].
• On transit, use your system's reporting options. In New York, for example, call 911 in an emergency, report harassment to the MTA online, or call 511 (6 a.m. to 10 p.m.) to report anonymously [3].
• If you don't feel safe, consider calling the police [2].

Document. Record what's happening on your phone, or write down who, what, where and when [1].

• Make sure the person is getting help first [1].
• Only record if it's safe, and keep your distance.
• Ask the person harmed what they want done with the recording, and give it to them. Never post or share it without their permission [1].
• Never film anyone who is undressed or anything sexual. Write notes instead.

Delay. If you can't act in the moment, check in afterward [1].

• Ask if they're okay, and say that what happened wasn't acceptable [1].
• Offer to walk with them to where they're going, share resources and help them report if they want to [1].
• Tell them it isn't their fault and they didn't do anything wrong [2].

Direct. Speak up to the person causing harm, briefly and firmly, without getting into an argument [1].

• Keep it short, like "Leave them alone," suggested by the University of Rochester [1].
• Or talk only to the person being targeted. Ask if they're okay, or whether they want to go somewhere safe [1].
• Be respectful, direct and honest, then turn your attention back to the person who was targeted [1, 2].

What you can do now

1. Practice with friends what you'd say and how you'd say it, so the words are ready when you need them [2].
2. Think about how you'd want others to act if it were you, or about a time you wish you'd acted differently [2].
3. Keep the focus on the person harmed. Let them know you're on their side and what happened isn't their fault [2].
4. Pick the D that fits. Every situation is different, and there's no one right way to respond [2].

Where to get help

• If anyone is in immediate danger, call 911.
• RAINN National Sexual Assault Hotline: 800.656.HOPE (4673), or text HOPE to 64673, 24/7. This is for the person harmed and for anyone supporting them.
• Crisis Text Line: text HOME to 741741, 24/7.
• See the Need help now page for more options.